Porto Montenegro, Montenegro: Balkan So Hard #5 - ONE

Every (party) animal, even on a quiet vacation, needs a watering hole. I think I've found the ONE. Quite literally.

ONE is my go-to place in Porto Montenegro to while away the afternoon. I've set up my 'office' in one of their sun-drenched corners; squishing myself into a comfy white sofa, tapping away on my Macbook while sipping cocktails and nibbling away at plates of tasty food.

It's hard work making my job look this effortless. It may look glamourous but I assure you it's all smoke & mirrors and really quite stressful. But the good food and chilled vibes does make it somewhat easier.

As do the massages I demand from the bar staff. 

I can count on being looked after at ONE.

Facing the port, it's a great place for yacht-watching, people-watching, and the occasional supercar casually purring by.

The company is also terrific. As far as managers go, they don't get lovelier and livelier than Harry. Just ask for Happy Harry or English Harry or One Harry. Everyone in Porto knows him, loves him, and most make their daily pit stops at One for their daily dose of his good energy and happy vibes.

His popularity also has to do with the mean cocktails he makes, which may or may not be the reason why I sometimes struggle to meet my deadlines. 

This is the "One to One", a killer peach and chili martini that tickled my tongue and completely threw off my Photoshopping for a good half hour.

I make it a point to have at least one meal at ONE everyday, and so far I've enjoyed...

...the tuna carpacio...

...the white risotto (I forgot what was in it, but it was so delicious that I didn't have the time to take a better photo)...

...the parma ham was perfectly salty, and the melon sweet and juicy, as it should be...

...I loved the black risotto with squid. A local delicacy, it's filled with cuttlefish and black squid ink. Hence the blackened lips and teeth that follow. But a glass of white wine will take care of that.

Words cannot describe how much I love the burrata and tomato salad. So nice, I had to have it twice.

The sea bass, octopus, prawn, and tomato ceviche tastes like everything a holiday should taste of---an explosion of savoury and sweet flavours, with hints of refreshing citrus, satisfying, yet not too heavy.

ONE is also rather atmospheric by night.

While one dines by candlelight, be sure to face the port where the ships and yachts, illuminated by the moon, twinkle coyly at you from the sea.

Again, the burrata, because I couldn't get enough of it.

I have said before that I don't enjoy cooked fish, but the sea bream was good enough even for the fussy likes of me.

The sea bass "en papilotte" is baked in paper, nicely wrapping up all the flavours and juices into a hot, steaming parcel of deliciousness.

Things do get raunchy at ONE...

Forks get sexual, spooning happens, and a post-coital cigarette makes an inevitable appearance.

Remember, spooning leads to forking. But as long as nobody gets knifed, it's all good.

Don't dessert your desserts...

The raspberry panacotta was a little heavy on the raspberry sauce for my liking. 

I easily scooped off the excess raspberry topping, balance was restored, and everything was at it should be.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the ONE.


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