Balkan So Hard #3: Almara Beach Club

June 16, 2013
On Friday I expressed my desire to go to Purobeach. S, ever accommodating and in-the-know, rolled his eyes and said "Forget about that. We'll go somewhere with a better view." We bundled into a taxi---I called shotgun---and drove from Porto Montenegro to Oblatno beach, through winding mountain roads that yielded the most breathtaking sights, wide expanse of ocean and sweeping views of Koto.

We arrived at Almara Beach Club, from here on referred to as Paradise.






My inherent and perpetual sarcasm faded away for one blessed day and surrendered to my inner child. The child that turns her nose up at fancy toys but is awed by the simplest yet grandest of things---nature.

Honestly, I can think of worst places to have lunch.


We ordered a selection of starters to share, tapas-style...



....the mussels were a tad salty...


...the octopus was delicious...


...as was the sesame and honey-glazed cheese pie. 


Calamarai on a bed of cabbage and carrot risotto.


More risotto.


Shrimp 'dumplings' that looked more like crepes to me, but by any other name tasted just as sweet.


After lunch we had a hectic and strenuous afternoon.





I swam all the way out to the floating bar and didn't drown. Well, according to Shee-Dragon "Dugongs don't drown so easily" -_- Still, an achievement given that my swimming style is less 'butterfly' and more 'drowning dog'.







Say no to tan lines. 


Not that I can tan anyway, my skin is absolutely resistant to darkening...

...however my delicate sensibilities are not averse to a little bubbly in the day.



Nor am I rude enough to refuse pudding after an arduous swim.


Vanilla ice-cream with crushed almond bits, caramel, and glazed biscuit.


I enjoyed Almara so much that I came back the next day to join the posse of party animals.


It was all very cliquey, given that I literally knew no one---the joys of travelling solo!---and only met most of them for the first time there and then. But people were nice enough, a few especially so, and the Montenegrin/Serbian men were espeeeeecially friendly.

I took a liking to a very handsome, very athletic Montenegrin young man who hopped into a kayak with me and paddled us around the sea and into dark caves in search of Somalian pirates.


The local ladies call him "Yummy Yanko", can you see why?


I contemplated christening the newly erected (haha) floating bar by cheekily making sexytimes behind it. And then I remembered I don't have a boyfriend. Maybe next time.

The music pumpeth, the drinketh floweth, and the people languish-eth.










The Montenegrin sun got the better of us. Succumbing to heat-stroke, we deliriously tried to outdo each other with displays of acrobatic prowess.







All that twisting and contorting does make one hungry...


..."Cheesecake and tiramisu do not a meal make"? I beg to differ.


The craziness resumed.



I had so much fun at Almara. Whether one is an extrovert or introvert, a party animal who wants to flirt and do shots or a nature lover who wants to swim and bask in the view, this beach club is certainly a lovely place to while away a day.

And now I'm off to Purobeach, for, um, research. Purely unselfish reasons, I assure you, also because my friend is going to Montenegro next week and is counting on 'YipAdvisor' for travel tips.

Cao lepi.

xx

4 comments:

  1. love love love this post! btw, love the no black jasikins! remember to update me yeah! ps: not going to london for honeymoon :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. That is a great great confidence there going topless. You have a really nice body so you should proud of it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Everyone in Europe is topless, I felt almost overdressed wearing a bikini.
      Thank you for your kind words, you are too sweet. x

      Delete