A BLOCKBUSTER DATE NIGHT IN MAYFAIR THAT STARTED AT
Call me the Alexander Petrovsky of date night. And before any of you shake your fists at me with cries of Team Aidan! or Team Big! (Team Berger? No? Darn right, he was a real wet towel), hear this Sex And The City-binge-watching-sister out. So maybe I'm neither composing 'Ick!'-inducing love songs on my grand piano* nor waltzing in couture** at the local Maccy D's, but if you want me to show you a good time you gotta get your art on (and get to grips with chopsticks - you'll see why in a bit). And as far as London art exhibitions go, it doesn't get bigger than the annual Royal Academy Summer Exhibition. Every year, this world-class institution of art hosts its legendary open-submission summer show, with an eye-watering exhibit of over a thousand works within the Palladian-mansion walls of Burlington House. Because either you go big or you go home. Jack Berger, I'm talking to you...#RASUMMER
*but I did compose a painting for my intended...
**although I was wearing Valentino, does that count?
THE BEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING: FROM FAT TO FIT IN 3 STEPS
Allow me to preface this post with a disclaimer that I am not a nutrition nor fitness expert. I'm from the far side of the moon, yo - you're talking to an aspiring skinny b*tch who wants to have her cake, Instagram it, and eat it too. In other words, a wishful thinker and a goddamn fool. To be honest, given my salad-dodging reputation, I wouldn't have blamed you for reading this blog post and thinking it an April's Fool joke. Losing 18.3kg (that's 40lbs, or 2 stone 11lbs) is arduous enough let alone striving to achieve that goal in 3-4 months without an exercise regime in place. Yet here I am: 3 months and some twenty restaurant/bar/café reviews later, having dropped a dress size and down to 70kg from my starting weight of 78.3kg. Whaaaaack. How did I drop it like a hot potato? Were drugs, starvation, or parasites involved? The answers are, in reverse order; God no, hell no, I wish, and read on to find out how I lost 8kg in 8 weeks in just three simple steps.
A MARYLEBONE MEMBERS CLUB WITH A MENU UNDER £20
The Cavendish at 35 New Cavendish Street, Fitzrovia
Despite the average champagne socialist's assertions that the antiquated class system (caste system?) is still very much the oppressor of those who dare to dream, the truth is that we live in a world where social mobility is the wind beneath the wings of the bold and the busty (have you forgotten that display at Grand National? Yes, I'm also trying to). Luxury has become increasingly democratic, as exemplified by head chef Douglas Santi's new 'everything £20 or under' menu, launched yesterday at refined Fitzrovia establishment 35 New Cavendish Street.