Nasty Encounters Of The Blogging Kind

July 11, 2015

I've been dying to get this off my chest, because God knows that my pent up aggression from smiling politely (in the name of civility and professionalism) at the basic faces of absolute appalling behaviour  will age me prematurely.

There's a damn good reason why I'm an introvert - I can't stand people. I mean, I am very sanguine and sincere, I'm easy to talk to and I go out of my way to put people at ease, my few close friends will tell you that I'm as loyal as they come. Let me rephrase - I can't stand people who lack the grace, courtesy, and candour that I set my standards by. Yes, we're all human and imperfect lumps of flesh all striving to mould ourselves into a form worthy of the space we occupy on this earth. Let's all endure and adore each other, forgive us our foibles but there are just some people whose shocking lack of etiquette and decency simply beggars belief. In a perfect world, the only people I'd encounter are; my loved ones (for whom I can forgive almost anything, and vice versa), friends, courteous colleagues, and acquaintances whose company I enjoy (that's why I made my swift exit from London's club scene, because I couldn't deal with all the 'social anxiety' and everyone's desperation to get a leg up and outdo each other). Unfortunately thanks to the social nature of my blogging, it's inevitable that I will come across other bloggers that will grind my gears down to powder, that is, until the blessed day I invent a walking plastic bubble with a bullshit-activated punching glove. 

3 Nasty Encounters Of The Blogging Kind

1. The blogger who just wouldn't shut up

This one really took the cake. I wish she had literally taken the cake, because then at least her carb-hole would've been too full to spout her diatribes I had to endure at what should've been a pleasant dinner. I had the misfortune to be sat beside this food blogger whose over-inflated sense of self-importance matched the volume of her bought Twitter followers (10,000 fake Twitter followers to her zero Bloglovin, Facebook, and Instagram followers). This person is the sort who would demand your opinion on something just so she could then rebuke it with "Well, you're wrong, your opinion is stupid, and I hate it!" thinking that her sort of adamant disagreement makes her sound well-informed and clever, when really it makes her look bitter and angry. Choice comments were: 
"Your blog profile says you're Malaysian. Well, I know for a fact you're not!" (Um, I think I'd know better than you what my nationality is) 
"Why would you even tell people you're Malaysian? I'm Malaysian and I hate it! I'll never move back there. You've been in London for 8 years? Prove it. Anyway, I've been here for 20. That's 12 more years than you." (Good for you. Want to also rub in my face that you're 20 years older than I?)
"What do you think of this dinner? I hate it. I hate the food. I hate the drinks. I'm a food blogger, I know a lot about dinners and I hate this one." (proceeds to order everything on the menu anyway, because someone else is paying)
"You're with Nuffnang? How much do they pay you? Tell me how much they pay you!  Oh, I don't care anyway. How much do you make per blog post? How much do you make in a month? How many unique visitors do you get? Why are you being so shy about it? Just show me your Google Analytics! I can see on your phone that you have the app - show me!" (Would you like to know what colour panties I'm wearing, love? The shade is called 'Mind Your Own Damned Business')
"Oh, is that what your blog stats are? That's ok for a beginner, I suppose, we all have to start somewhere." contradicted by "How do you get the collaborations and offers you have? Tell me! Ugh, whatever, I don't want to work with the brands you do - I've turned them down before. I turn a lot of brands down, you know." 
"You're really pretty. You don't look Malaysian. You've definitely had cosmetic surgery. Your nose is too sharp (defined). Tell me who your surgeon is!" (Bitch please, my 'surgeon' is called Mother Nature)  
"How often do you blog? Three times a week? How many words and pictures per post? Wow, that's a lot. Don't you have anything better to do? I blog once a week and my posts are just one paragraph with one photo. You're wasting your time. I'm an amazing blogger, you know!" 
After enduring two hours of her tripe, the blogger then gave me her card and said "You must come to one of my events!" (Thank you, but I'd much rather have a root canal) 

2. The blogger who took a competition too seriously

This one you'd think was competing for a scholarship to Oxford. We were at a blogger's event with a cooking competition, where the blogger whose dish deemed 'best-tasting' by the judges would win vouchers for two at a restaurant. I had the great pleasure to be stationed next to the most highly-strung shrew who didn't get the concept of friendly competition. The entire time, this blogger kept elbowing me out of my station, tutting and shouting at me to get out of her way, monopolising all the cooking tools then refusing my polite requests to pass me something, glaring at me each time the judges praised anything I did, and downright tried to sabotage my efforts by hiding the ingredients I was using. When I gave up trying to even bother with my dish, instead leaving her to have the entire cooking station and all the ingredients to her disposal, she went to the judges and said, "You know Posh, Broke, & Bored isn't even making an effort? She's just standing there. She's not taking this competition seriously - you should kick her out." Ohhhh-kaay. There's just no pleasing some, is there? Later, I caught her 'accidentally' spilling a drink on my camera. Good lord, woman, did you come here for a cooking event or to piss on everyone's chips?

3. The bloggers who live to undermine other bloggers, including their own friends
This one is a lot subtler and clever. I'd even go as far as to gander that these bloggers might not even realise how underhanded their tactics are, rather that their inherent competitiveness permeates every aspect of their life that they can't just enjoy their colleagues' success without throwing in a one-up even while congratulating you for your hard work. For example - many comments, while innocuous enough often contains a passive aggressive or patronising undertone; or less subtly, a reminder of something similar they blogged about that they perceive to be superior in some way whether it's a pricier meal they've had, or something even pettier like pointing out that they have a more expensive version of something you bought. Said bloggers may ask you in great detail (with what seems like a friendly and curious manner) about how much you're charging a brand you're discussing a collaboration with, then approach said brand to undercut you, or even better - take to their own blogs to denounce said brand and any bloggers who choose to work with them, which of course makes you look bad. Those bloggers might even enviously praise you to your face: "That's a great idea, Jasiminne, I wish I had thought of that!" only to turn around and write a post on how they would never blog about what you did and how they think that it's beneath them. More than just two-faced or unprofessional, it's just downright playing dirty and makes you wonder, How sad must they be that they can't just appreciate the efforts and success of their peers? A "good job, well done! I'll try that out for myself and see how it goes" would suffice.

Long story short, these three examples of bloggers have these traits in common - they're sore losers who are overly competitive, feel easily threatened, and think that the internet (or rather, blogosphere) isn't big enough for everyone. Maybe these bloggers are decent people who are good to their friends - just awful colleagues to share a profession with. Are you one of these bloggers I've mentioned? Have you, and do you encounter such bloggers? Tell me your nasty encounters of the blogging kind! Also, any comments naming these bloggers (or who you guess they are) will not pass moderation - there's no need to name and shame. x

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  1. I am very much like you, hate hate hate these people (and generally list myself under introvert, avoiding -most- people PURELY because I fear they will disappoint me or disgust me in their insincere and self-centered ways). Wish they realised how much harder they make life for those around them.
    P.S Maggie Smith had all the best lines! :-D

  2. I'm so with you on the competitiveness thing. Everyone is different, every blog and blogger is good in its own way and I wish people wouldn't judge each others choices and ways of doing things.

    Lots of love,
    SilverSpoon London

  3. Tell me about it, Angie! I wish everyone could just agree to disagree, rather than agree to your face then take to a public forum to disagree AND loudly denounce the very thing they claim to support you on. x

  4. Introverts, assemble!

    Self-centred insincere people are exactly that - too self-centred to stop and think how unpleasant they are. Wish I could cut them down as elegantly and wittily as the Dowager Countess! x

  5. Oh my god! Those bloggers sound like the most vile creatures to walk this planet x

  6. Not gonna lie this gave me a bit of a laugh (other than the first set of comments because excuse the eff out of her, where *exactly* does she get off??????). I mean none of this behaviour is acceptable but dear oh dear it's rife out there. Outright sabotage at an event though???? Really????? Eurgh some people.

    Maggie Smith was also an excellent choice for gifs ;)

    Fii || little miss fii

  7. sushimalayaJuly 12, 2015

    Omg they are the worst! I have e-mailed a blogger once to request for a friendly collaboration and she didn't reply. I even tweeted her to notify that I've e-mailed her and she ignored me all the way. The next day, I discovered that she got a job with Shu Uemura as an ambassador of some sort. That made it pretty obvious that she has been on her e-mail and there could be no way she could've missed it. I've notified her so she could've checked in the Spam inboxes as well, couldn't she? Even if you don't want to have a friendly collab, at least tell me? Ended up unfollowing her everywhere. Quite unfortunate because I liked her. It was much to my surprise that she only perks up to bloggers' perks of getting freebies and fame.

  8. Oh, ick. I'm a new-ish blogger so haven't encountered all that many others 'IRL', but the last one really struck a chord. I can't stand people, either. Great post! x

    Rachel | A Little Grey

  9. I hear ya on this one... I can't believe they would even say stuff like that, let alone to your face. Disgusting. I don't see why we can't all just support each other but I guess we all know that's a fantasy and there will always be this intense competition to some people. I haven't encountered this yet! Crazyyyy!!! Thanks for sharing though, this is such true information.


    Kalee |

  10. It's a real eye-opener isn't it Kalee? When I started blogging I thought it was a huge community full of rainbows and love. It mostly is but for a few nasty pieces of work! x

  11. Rachel, you will at some point encounter a few shish kebabs (that's my standard insult for everything haha) but mostly the blogging community is full of lovely people. Even by the standards of us introverts. x

  12. To be fair, a lot of bloggers (myself included) get so many emails that they don't have the time or chance to reply to them all. If I get an unsuitable email I usually reply with the standard "Thank you, but I'm not in the position to accept" but sometimes the odd email or two slips through the cracks. As a rule, I try to answer to everything as promptly as I can but this isn't always possible! x

  13. Outright sabotage, yo - is that criminal damage or a (un) civil matter? Shame we're not all Maggie Smith, we'd cut down these shish kebabs and put them in their place faster than they can say "Blog eat blog world" ;) x

  14. Brilliant post! I do find the competitiveness rather strange in the blogging world. I was always told run your own race and most importantly someone elses success doesn't mean there won't be any for you. Zoe xx

  15. hah, nodding along to number 3 up there- it's super common in my experience. Passive aggressive undertones, patronising words, superiority and yep, being mined for information about my work and brands! Blogging can be so 'high school' in that way, that on Wednesdays we all wear pink ;)

  16. Oh god, these people sound awful! They must be so miserable.

    At a cooking event I went to, there were two bloggers who spent the whole evening criticising the brand that had invited them and the food we were eating. One of them was being paid to be the brand's 'blogger ambassador', and following the event she wrote a blog post about it, saying how disappointing the brand's products are. People congratulated her for being so honest, but why would you accept money from a brand you don't like? Very unprofessional, and doesn't make brands want to collaborate with more of us bloggers!

    Anne-Sophie - City Cookie xx

  17. Hilarious Jasiminne! I think we've all been there. Some lunches with fellow bloggers feel like interviews for me on how to get a leg-up the blogosphere ladder, and it's exhausting. The backstabbing on Twitter is the worst; some blatant jealousy and mean girl comments going on, especially from the some of the most frequent twitter-chat participants.

    Sarah Xx

  18. The first one was already pissing me off but then: "Later, I caught her 'accidentally' spilling a drink on my camera." I would be homicidal. The fuck.

  19. I KNOW RIGHT. My camera is like my baby to me. Luckily no harm done, or I would have torn her a new one!

  20. That blogger sounds like a charmer! (Not) There's candour, then there's taking money to represent something you don't believe in. I've been in situations where I've had to return products or refuse payment because I have nothing nice to say, and I believe that if you've nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all! x

  21. Sarah, I'm oblivious to Twitter shade - point me in the right direction (DM me or something) and I'll look into it! x

  22. This kind of thing makes me really sad because I feel like they've lost sight of why they started blogging in the first place, or perhaps they always planned on being petty competitive types... either way, not people any of us should waste our time on!

  23. I agree, Connie - they're not worth a second of our time UNFORTUNATELY thanks to my job they find a way to occupy my space and time (and most unwelcomingly so)! x

  24. Oh wow how horrible! I think I must be lucky to have come across more supportive bloggers on online & real life events, although I acknowledge that I'm competitive when it comes to competitions! (Hopefully I'm a good loser lol!)


  25. Haha I know that's true! I did too. There are a handful that I'm like, "okay, chill no need to be rude" but then others are just super sweet! So, this post was another real eye-opener to just how rude and selfish people can be! Thanks for sharing Xx

  26. SuperHelenaJuly 12, 2015

    Oh dear. I can so relate to the 3rd one. One blogger once kept messaging me and acting like she was my "friend" (she used that word) and then she would leave passive agressive messages on my social media, and slag off my-then sponsor and products I would review on her blog... and act dumb when I would ask about it. Very bizarre, if you ask me xD

    As for the others, I feel you, Jasmine, that would have been me I really don't know how I would react. That's why I'm not too keen on doing bloggers meeting, I'm sure most of people there are nice but there will always be some competitions and backstabbing, and I just don't have the time for it (nor have any more f**ks to give).

    Having said that, I did find this post very funny XD Please do more posts like this (even though I don't want you to have any more bad experience - argh!)

    I do think these people blog for the wrong reasons, like compensating on a very dull real life or some inferiority issues. I mean, come on. I understand if we don't necessarily all get on, we could at least respect each other. -_-

    Helena's Teabreak

  27. Amen Jasiminne, I admire your candor and honestly and humour of course :) This posts sums everything up so eloquently. I don't know if this makes a difference but I'm a lot older than most twenty something bloggers out there, I feel I don't have the need to push and shove to make myself heard. I feel the saying 'the less you reveal, the more people will wonder' is something I like to follow.

    I haven't had any nasty encounters but at one event I met one blogger who from the moment we met didn't shut up about her life, it was literally all she talked about - I was like is this normal? Bragging about your life and your blog?! I literally couldn't wait to get away from her.

    I've also had one blogger who constantly complimented on my blog and Instagram photos and PM asking what my job is on Twitter. Then subsequently unfollowed me on all my social media platforms, I honestly couldn't care less and really put it down to jealously, haha.

    Hanh x | hanhabelle

  28. Kirsty HaynesJuly 13, 2015

    This was such a hilarious but an equally scary post haha. I haven't met any nasty bloggers...yet. However I have seen other bloggers band together and tear someone a new one which always riles me up but I feel you've encountered much worse!

    'Your blog profile says you're Malaysian. Well, I know for a fact you're not!" (Um, I think I'd know better than you what my nationality is)'

    This! This right here is just so bloody odd. I always wonder how these people exist in the real world without being punched several times!

    Kirsty | blessedby

  29. Catherine LuxJuly 13, 2015

    Sadly I think many of us have experienced Number 3 in particular, it's so sad that people feel like they have to do these things. Takes all of the joy out of it! You've just gotta ignore them, nothing more you can do.

    Love you girl, we need another dinner soon!

    C x | Lux Life

  30. People are so. weird.!!!! WTF? I try and stay away from all the nonsense, it's lovely meeting bloggers, but I really don't want to get caught in a stats and bloggy conversation every time I meet them, otherwise life becomes pretty dull, pretty quickly! Most of it is jealousy, I'm sure. And silli-ness.... those stories make me cringe so badly! Just such strange behaviour!
    Rosie xx

  31. I hear you - people are WEIRD! I'm happy to talk stats and whatnot (I really enjoy 'work conversations') but when it turns into an! x

  32. How odd was that 'You're not Malaysian' blogger?! The thing that boggles me is, never mind being punched, I'm amazed she has a husband. Well she did say that he encourages her to go to events without him, which explains a lot...

  33. I don't think if it's just the 20-something bloggers who push to be heard. I know at least one approaching-30 blogger whose desperate to come across as much younger so shoves themselves into everyones face like a cut of near-expiry meat, hoping to be 'bought' before destined for irrelevance. It's so sad that some treat blogging like a meat market! x

  34. Rosie - on point. Over and out. x

  35. Blogger 3 makes me cringe (and irritated) every time! x

  36. So two pieces of great news - 1) THE COMMENT BOX IS SOWING - WOOPIEEE and 2) this was hilarious. I think blogger 1 has something wrong with their head though, that's just crazy behavior. Love Andrea xxx

    Andrea's Passions

  37. Live and let live. The only competition I'm interested in is sports. A little competition is healthy but jealousy which stems from it is not. I'm thankful that I haven't met any of these bloggers.

  38. Not to be a downer, Flick, but it's inevitable that we'll all meet some of these kinds of bloggers :\ At least they provide some form of amusement (in hindsight that is)... x

  39. Yaaaay the comment box is working again! x