I've been dying to get this off my chest, because God knows that my pent up aggression from smiling politely (in the name of civility and professionalism) at the basic faces of absolute appalling behaviour will age me prematurely.
There's a damn good reason why I'm an introvert - I can't stand people. I mean, I am very sanguine and sincere, I'm easy to talk to and I go out of my way to put people at ease, my few close friends will tell you that I'm as loyal as they come. Let me rephrase - I can't stand people who lack the grace, courtesy, and candour that I set my standards by. Yes, we're all human and imperfect lumps of flesh all striving to mould ourselves into a form worthy of the space we occupy on this earth. Let's all endure and adore each other, forgive us our foibles but there are just some people whose shocking lack of etiquette and decency simply beggars belief. In a perfect world, the only people I'd encounter are; my loved ones (for whom I can forgive almost anything, and vice versa), friends, courteous colleagues, and acquaintances whose company I enjoy (that's why I made my swift exit from London's club scene, because I couldn't deal with all the 'social anxiety' and everyone's desperation to get a leg up and outdo each other). Unfortunately thanks to the social nature of my blogging, it's inevitable that I will come across other bloggers that will grind my gears down to powder, that is, until the blessed day I invent a walking plastic bubble with a bullshit-activated punching glove.
3 Nasty Encounters Of The Blogging Kind
1. The blogger who just wouldn't shut up
This one really took the cake. I wish she had literally taken the cake, because then at least her carb-hole would've been too full to spout her diatribes I had to endure at what should've been a pleasant dinner. I had the misfortune to be sat beside this food blogger whose over-inflated sense of self-importance matched the volume of her bought Twitter followers (10,000 fake Twitter followers to her zero Bloglovin, Facebook, and Instagram followers). This person is the sort who would demand your opinion on something just so she could then rebuke it with "Well, you're wrong, your opinion is stupid, and I hate it!" thinking that her sort of adamant disagreement makes her sound well-informed and clever, when really it makes her look bitter and angry. Choice comments were:
"Your blog profile says you're Malaysian. Well, I know for a fact you're not!" (Um, I think I'd know better than you what my nationality is)
"Why would you even tell people you're Malaysian? I'm Malaysian and I hate it! I'll never move back there. You've been in London for 8 years? Prove it. Anyway, I've been here for 20. That's 12 more years than you." (Good for you. Want to also rub in my face that you're 20 years older than I?)
"What do you think of this dinner? I hate it. I hate the food. I hate the drinks. I'm a food blogger, I know a lot about dinners and I hate this one." (proceeds to order everything on the menu anyway, because someone else is paying)
"You're with Nuffnang? How much do they pay you? Tell me how much they pay you! Oh, I don't care anyway. How much do you make per blog post? How much do you make in a month? How many unique visitors do you get? Why are you being so shy about it? Just show me your Google Analytics! I can see on your phone that you have the app - show me!" (Would you like to know what colour panties I'm wearing, love? The shade is called 'Mind Your Own Damned Business')
"Oh, is that what your blog stats are? That's ok for a beginner, I suppose, we all have to start somewhere." contradicted by "How do you get the collaborations and offers you have? Tell me! Ugh, whatever, I don't want to work with the brands you do - I've turned them down before. I turn a lot of brands down, you know."
"You're really pretty. You don't look Malaysian. You've definitely had cosmetic surgery. Your nose is too sharp (defined). Tell me who your surgeon is!" (Bitch please, my 'surgeon' is called Mother Nature)
"How often do you blog? Three times a week? How many words and pictures per post? Wow, that's a lot. Don't you have anything better to do? I blog once a week and my posts are just one paragraph with one photo. You're wasting your time. I'm an amazing blogger, you know!"
After enduring two hours of her tripe, the blogger then gave me her card and said "You must come to one of my events!" (Thank you, but I'd much rather have a root canal)
2. The blogger who took a competition too seriously
This one you'd think was competing for a scholarship to Oxford. We were at a blogger's event with a cooking competition, where the blogger whose dish deemed 'best-tasting' by the judges would win vouchers for two at a restaurant. I had the great pleasure to be stationed next to the most highly-strung shrew who didn't get the concept of friendly competition. The entire time, this blogger kept elbowing me out of my station, tutting and shouting at me to get out of her way, monopolising all the cooking tools then refusing my polite requests to pass me something, glaring at me each time the judges praised anything I did, and downright tried to sabotage my efforts by hiding the ingredients I was using. When I gave up trying to even bother with my dish, instead leaving her to have the entire cooking station and all the ingredients to her disposal, she went to the judges and said, "You know Posh, Broke, & Bored isn't even making an effort? She's just standing there. She's not taking this competition seriously - you should kick her out." Ohhhh-kaay. There's just no pleasing some, is there? Later, I caught her 'accidentally' spilling a drink on my camera. Good lord, woman, did you come here for a cooking event or to piss on everyone's chips?
3. The bloggers who live to undermine other bloggers, including their own friends
This one is a lot subtler and clever. I'd even go as far as to gander that these bloggers might not even realise how underhanded their tactics are, rather that their inherent competitiveness permeates every aspect of their life that they can't just enjoy their colleagues' success without throwing in a one-up even while congratulating you for your hard work. For example - many comments, while innocuous enough often contains a passive aggressive or patronising undertone; or less subtly, a reminder of something similar they blogged about that they perceive to be superior in some way whether it's a pricier meal they've had, or something even pettier like pointing out that they have a more expensive version of something you bought. Said bloggers may ask you in great detail (with what seems like a friendly and curious manner) about how much you're charging a brand you're discussing a collaboration with, then approach said brand to undercut you, or even better - take to their own blogs to denounce said brand and any bloggers who choose to work with them, which of course makes you look bad. Those bloggers might even enviously praise you to your face: "That's a great idea, Jasiminne, I wish I had thought of that!" only to turn around and write a post on how they would never blog about what you did and how they think that it's beneath them. More than just two-faced or unprofessional, it's just downright playing dirty and makes you wonder, How sad must they be that they can't just appreciate the efforts and success of their peers? A "good job, well done! I'll try that out for myself and see how it goes" would suffice.
Long story short, these three examples of bloggers have these traits in common - they're sore losers who are overly competitive, feel easily threatened, and think that the internet (or rather, blogosphere) isn't big enough for everyone. Maybe these bloggers are decent people who are good to their friends - just awful colleagues to share a profession with. Are you one of these bloggers I've mentioned? Have you, and do you encounter such bloggers? Tell me your nasty encounters of the blogging kind! Also, any comments naming these bloggers (or who you guess they are) will not pass moderation - there's no need to name and shame. x