Curb your overenthusiasm

June 07, 2015

Online shopping will be the death of me - I literally intend to shop until I drop. Dead.

I've been warned: "You're going to hell in a handbag" to which I counter: "Which one?" And while we're at it, I need to pick some shoes for the journey; maybe some Rockstud ballerinas for the long walk to the Gates of Hell, then perhaps a dazzling stiletto to change into at the last minute to make an impression when I get there. Girl's gotta look hot, ha! Seriously though. They say you can't take your material possessions to the grave, which only makes me more determined to amass as much as I can while I can. I've attempted many a shopping embargo, but alas, if there is one thing I can't live without more so than squandering a fortune it's the great enabler - the internet. ASOS. eBay. Vestiaire Collective. Net-a-Porter. Need I say more? 

Lest I shift all the blame solely onto fashion, let it be known that my web of receipt (haha) extends to food delivery (cook? Ain't nobody got time fo' dat) and Uber taxis (I haven't taken public transport once this year. Besides, walking is so pedestrian). Amazon purchases of books and craft supplies I can sort of justify (marble contact paper is absolutely a business expense) but agate eggs, taxidermy ducks, vintage collapsible top hats two sizes too small for my Neanderthal noggin...not so much. Still; 'Add to Basket' I do because the thing about online shopping is that it doesn't feel like real money. Until the dreaded third week of the month when decisions have to be made: "Which flavour of ramen is for dinner tonight - regret or shame?"

Why oh why did I download the eBay app?!

My third bank card in as many months. Not because the other two spontaneously combusted from overuse, but they might as well have done. It's time for a call to action. No, not assume some responsibility or learn to curb my overenthusiasm - rather, apply for a Barclaycard and let the Spend Limit Alerts step in (in lieu of my mother's wagging finger).

Funnyman Jason Manford gets my point across more succinctly than I do, in this video about the perils of internet shopping, one in a series of stand-up acts for Barclaycard's new campaign that's designed to simplify life for their clients. Or in the case of Barclaycard Spend Limit Alerts, slap me on the wrist with a text or email whenever I toe the line. I could choose to ignore my Barclaycard weekly account balance update or personal balance limit alert, instead, make it rain (or in my case, drizzle...) but at least it's a step in the right direction. Budget! What a dirty word. I'd rather the bank say it for me. x

Hear Jason Manford say why you should apply for a Barclaycard, here.

* This blog post is a collaboration with Barclaycard, but as always all opinions and unfortunate internet shopping-related anecdotes are my own.

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  1. I have so much spending guilt at the moment! It is such a struggle. This post really gave me a giggle though :) x

    Martha Jane |

  2. Hehehe thanks Martha! If it makes you feel any better I'm in the same boat - I just downloaded the Etsy and eBay apps to my phone - definitely not the best idea when you've a compulsive shopping problem like me D: x