Sky beach

February 07, 2014
The last time I blogged about the sky beach I felt like the photos didn't really do the place justice (after all it was an exceptionally overcast, gloomy day) so I thought I'd try to make up for it with these new offerings.

As is the norm---or at least as it should be---every jaded city-dweller, myself included, can count on a pseudo-beach experience by taking the elevator up to the roof of their condominium and enjoy a sky beach which in this case is a strange hybrid of a fake beach, infinity pool, and infinity hot tub overlooking the concrete jungle of Mont Kiara.

David frolicking in the hot tub while Sheena-chan and Michiekins discuss the logistics of Sheena's wedding, scope out the place for Michiekin's birthday party this weekend, and steal my phone to frape me. And here I thought they were being so diligent and rajin...little did I know. Devious.

Well to be fair I fraped Sheena HARD during Chinese New Year dinner when I uploaded a picture of a pregnancy ultrascan to her Instagram with the caption "See you soon, Khoo Caiden! Mummy promises not to smoke or drink for the next 9 months!" Touché.

David was appalled that I have only ever taken photos in automatic "Why do you even have a Leica then?!"---not true, when I was into concept photography way back in 2006 when my first blog became popular in Malaysia I was all about the manual settings---so he insisted I learn how to adjust the aperture, shutter speed etc. on my new camera.

I compromised by using the different modes. 

This is supposed to be 'glistening water'. 

We decided we had enough of the hot tub and took the arduous trek downstairs to the sky beach.

Oh hello Sheena's butt.

Sheena speaks Koreanese because she's a bit of both (mostly Korean, hey, you sure your baby daddy isn't really G-Dragon?). She asks 'gen chahn ah yoh desu ka?', bahahahaha. Gen chahn ah yoh = Korean for are you alright, desu ka = Japanese. And she calls ME 'Mengada-Z' fuaaaah. Apa khabar pot? My name is kettle.

I also realised that this blog is a lot less funny than my Dayre microblog because there are no emojis on here. How do I make emojis happen?

Can everyone please marvel at Sheena's baby feet (UK size 2) on the left and how they look like children's feet next to mine on the right (UK size 7). If she was born in ancient China she'd be so lucky because she wouldn't need to bind her feet. She'd be the darling of the Imperial Court, lying on a lotus leaf with her naturally tiny 'golden lotuses' propped up on a pillow made from Pekinese fur and the Emperor's armpit hair, eating gui ling gao from a golden bowl fed to her by cowering servants while she lords it over the court all because her tiny feet make her the second closest thing to God (first is the Emperor). Meanwhile I'm toiling in the fields like the ineligible, unmarriable peasant that my feet dictate me to be. Wa men ti, wa men ti...

I love the Louis Vuitton Neverfull but I hate those thin straps that dig into the shoulders whenever the bag is too heavy. Sure, the bag never gets full, but it will slice your flesh to ribbons.

Michelle and Sheena were singing 'Champs-Elysees! Champs-Elyseeeees!' to my bag because they are just weird like that.

And then I asked Mich "Pass me my bag please, I want to check my notifications."

I knew something was up when they handed me my bag, and ran away in a panic giggling like the sohais they are.





Sheena! David! Michelle! I curse you all to get fat and never lose the weight! Every bite you take, every mouthful you make, I'll be cursing you!

I'm still getting notifications and messages of congratulations!

Sheena pointed at me and shouted "Ha! Karma's a BITCH!"

I am changing my iPhone passcode.

David buried my legs in sand. 

And he repeatedly poked the fats in the side of my tummy with his pointy fingers.

And asked me to punch him in the chest but flexed at the last minute which made my fist hurt. A lot.

Tim kai aaaah?!

Thank God Nana arrived, she's the only sane one around here.

Michiekins and Nana are wearing samples from their new project, a bikini line that's launching soooon! Follow them for more updates. I have seen the other designs and they are adorable, have the most amazing pastel shades and bright colours, very comfortable material, and such good fits! Very reasonably priced too. 

Nanaaaa I want your leeegs. 

I feel like one of those pervy uncles who take sneaky shots of girls when standing behind them on the escalator. Call me Ah Pek.

David taking macros of sand, probably because he thinks that my new camera is wasted on all the inane selfies that I use it for.

It's very serene to live in a high-rise in the middle of the city among a cluster of skyscrapers but to have a view of the mountains and forests. How Malaysian. We don't have Central Park or Hyde Park but we have Bukit Kiara. And Mont Kiara. Is that really a mountain? Don't ask me, I'm a failure at Geography. I can't tell you if Sibu is in Sarawak or Sabah but I can tell you the exact location of Prada in Pavilion.

We heard an almighty din coming from below.

Dong-dong-dong-chang! It's a Chinese New Year lion dance!

Ok, my new camera's current len's zoom leaves much to be desired. This is as much as I can zoom in on the fifth floor gardens from the 34th floor. But one can just about make out the lion dancers by the children's swimming pool.

David is an overexcited kid and screamed GUYS LION DANCE LET'S GO NOOOOW!

Ohhhh so nobody can be bothered to go down to the fifth floor with me and help me take 'outfit of the day' pictures, but when the lion dancers show up you snatch up your things and run to the elevator?!


Believe it or not this the first lion dance I've seen this Chinese New Year.

Apparently the performers are my former students from Start Society!

This guy's face is amazing. "Oh don't mind me, I'll just stand here and play the drums for half an hour while giant sequinned lions do acrobatics all over the place and terrify non-Malaysian children"

The dance went on for ages! Verve Suites must have paid them a pretty penny to dance longer than usual, to give all the residents a chance to rush down from their four different towers and make the show. 

Thanks guys!

Bailey Nelson glasses / Louis Vuitton Neverfull / Vincci beaded sandals.

Nana I want your jumper! In mint green! I'm going to Topshop right now.

The sun set over Kuala Lumpur and a not-very-peaceful day. The day concluded with Japanese dinner at Shiraku (we brought Malibu, yay to dog-friendly restaurants!), girl talk, and serious gossip.

Oh if only my life is that idyllic in London.

Right, I'm dumping a ton of sand on my roof and turning it into a beach. 

You're all invited so as long as you promise to not hijack my Instagram and Facebook when I'm not looking.