Welcome, 2014.

January 02, 2014
I have decided to do away with resolutions all together---imagination outranks reality in every way and likewise outcomes may not always live up to expectations which in turn sets one up for disappointment---so instead of setting black & white resolutions I endeavour to make gradual lifestyle changes. One of them is 'do something different that people don't expect of you' so with that in mind I thought I'd spend New Year's Eve both in Essex and in London.

The plan of attack was Peter's pool party in Hornchurch and then India's shindig in Soho. Like every good general I dressed for success, which is to say that I wore a bikini under my dress and enough hairspray to punch another whole in the ozone layer. 

I dragged a long-suffering Percy along and after 40 minutes of asking our Uber driver inane questions like "Are we there yet?" "Is Hornchurch in Essex? It's on the tube map, zone 6, and in Greater London, but everyone says it's Essex?" we arrived at Peter's where we were ushered into the poolhouse.

It took a while for people to brave the bracing cool waters but they got in eventually.

I went in with my shoes, makeup, and jewellery because we are in Essex and glamour doesn't rest. The Only Way Is Hornchurch, honey. Wearing stilettos did wonders for my balance, something to do with my posture. I should try wearing heels to pilates. Percy tried to tip me over and drown me (several times) but failed to because I was wearing heels which served both as a balancing device and as a weapon against pool meanies.

All of this happened while Luxy took a disco nap otherwise she would be in the pool with me. I took off her heels and put flats back on her feet so that she would dream of walking around comfortably.

After the countdown we headed back to London, I dropped Percy off in Shoreditch before heading to Soho to join les Londoners. What a mission! I had to summon a Hailo---the bill came to the perfect sum of £111, I should use the cab's registration number to buy lottery numbers. My Chinese is showing, haha---to take me back to London only to realise that no cars were allowed past Holborn. 

Do something you haven't done before, every day. That day it was rickshaw selfies.

I walked about 100 metres in the rain, wearing heels and fur before giving up and getting into a rickshaw. Every pothole was an adventure, and every shortcut down an alley I saw my life flash before my eyes. And then I get to India's and the lift wasn't working (rumoured to be shut down by irate neighbours) so I had to climb three flights of stairs. My first workout of 2014. Talk about dedication! 

But it was worth it because I got to see so many of my friends that I haven't seen in ages. I'm sorry guys! I am a hermit and a recluse.

Cuddle puddle with goth beauty Nikita and the hostess with the mostess India. Ain't no puddle like a cuddle puddle, and ain't no hospitality like India's. Thank you India for always being so generous, chipper, and accommodating.

Thank you Oli for being the supplier of tunes and beats! And here's Storm being his hype boy behind the decks.

Three meerkats! We are all up in your house party keeping an eye on things. Alert is one word for us. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

I love Josh when he's tipsy, I describe his look as elegantly sleepy.

So much love to Freddie for being so entertaining and for leading the clean up operation. 

I finally dragged myself away at nine in the morning, had a two hour disco nap, and then headed out for drinks at The Edition with Loui. He flew in from K.L to London for New Year's Eve and I'd be damned if I didn't welcome to town a fellow Malaysian in London. Muh-muh-Malaysia BOLEH! Solidarity. Got my chiggas in London and we going gorillas, haaaah!

I wore my lucky colour (green) and my Miu Miu clutch that I call unicorn vomit because it's glittery to the point of absurdity.

Loui wants to get us cameos in the upcoming Crazy Rich Asians movie which is by the producers of The Hunger Games. Oh I know all about hunger games, I've seen the lines of Chinese shoppers queuing up for Chanel in Selfridges on Boxing Day! Um, ya'll know that Chanel never does sales, right?

Abrupt end of blog post because it's 3am and I have to be in the studio tomorrow to paint and film.

Oh yes it is!



  1. My disco nap was the best.

    C x

    1. I can't believe you slept through the countdown!

  2. I had a super low-key NYE - rang it in with the parents who were snoring before the ball dropped, so this was quite fun to read. Pool party in London?! HELLO.

    1. Happy New year!
      Also, is Hornchurch in Essex or London?! Nobody seems to know! X

  3. Dear Jasiminne,
    You are fabulous and utterly hilarious.
    Please never stop blogging.
    Marley from Sydney