R-R-Roka star.

November 30, 2013

The Four Stages of Succesful Shopping: Anticipation, Deliberation, Elation, and Contentment.

My mummy flew over from K.L to London for the weekend not just to meet with the small team of people who's job it is to solve any problems that may inconvenience my comfortable existence and compromise my happy indolence, but also to run a few errands including a football match in Cardiff that I am quite glad to not be a part of. I love having her in London (obviously she refuses to stay with me in Shoreditch because she is allergic to pretentiousness) because not only do I liven up her meetings with my insouciant banter, and get to show her around, but I also get to go shopping for things I can't usually afford on my (witness the fitness that is my new pair of Stuart Weitzman 5050s, above) and of course I get to eat something different from my usual microwave meals. Everything tastes better when your parents are treating you, no matter how old or successful you are. 

Nothing works up one's appetite more than a happy purchase. So right after I shoved my MC Hammer jogging pant-clad calves into my new boots we celebrated my love for all things material (and gastronomical) at Roka.

I eliminated the need for any deliberation---after all I had spent all my critical decision-making chips on New Bond Street---by insisting we each plump for the Tokujo premium tasting menu. Why go through the hassle of ordering when someone else will do it for you? The only individual elements we had to ask for were drinks, edamame, and the rareness of our wagyu beef (medium rare is as low as they would go).

We started with slices of yellowtail sashimi so thin you could almost see through them in a yuzu-truffle dressing that had a sharp vinegarish taste that immediately disappeared after it touched your tongue. The effect was an instant palate cleanser that allowed us to appreciate the delicacy of the sashimi.

Six types of sashimi with smoked soy, shio dare, and goma sauce.

Something with black truffle shavings and tapioca crisp.

To die for scallops skewers with wasabi and shiso...!

Wagyu sushi with oscietra caviar, spring onion, and ginger. I didn't try this because I was too engrossed with...

The soft shell crab tempura with the most incredible chilli dressing. The kind of dressing that's not too watery and not too oily, somehow thin enough to be very hot yet not overpowering, so you could actually taste the fieriness without the chilli cancelling out any other flavours. It was just sour enough as well which was the perfect foil to the spicy...!

This! This! Black cod rice toban with piri piri and lemon, or as I call it 'pretend-unagi risotto'.

Fried eggplant (aubergine? brinjal?) with sesame miso and katsoubushi. The eggplant was silky, so soft it melted in my mouth, and full of heavenly flavour that I would never associate with such a clumsy looking vegetable. An actual aubergine just looks comical to me...it's purple, it's huge, it's shaped like...I don't know what, it just looks like a clown's weapon!

The wagu with wafu tomatoes and teriyaki sauce was really quite nice...! 

I wanted to upgrade to Grade 7 for a mere extra £15 but mummy was sensible and told me that the extra marbling (and fats) would kill me.

She was right, look at this, and it's only Grade 4...!

All of that deliciousness was trumped by our pudding display, what I call 'The Dreamboat'...

A platter of exotic fruit imported from Thailand that made me think of Malaysia (rambutan! dragon fruit! the sweetest lychee!), puddings, ice-cream, and sorbet. I won't insult it by trying to describe the myriad of little desserts, just go down to Roka and order it.

Special mention goes to the melty matcha chocolate pudding.

I went home, sleep and full, to discover my hamster felt the same after a hard day of gorging on seeds...

We look so alike when we are in food comas!



  1. oh my, I miss Roka. Used to go to the one on Charlotte street all the time.
    I dont remember the super awesome boat of glory though!!
    I once ordered their hello kitty fizzle lemonade just because the bottle looked awesome.. the sweetness almost gave me a heart attack!

    1. I did NOT know they had Hello Kitty lemonade!
      I totally get ordering drinks you like the look of, I have lots of bottles of things I hate but bought because the packagaing was pretty ;) x

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