停止恭维捕鱼。

November 05, 2013
Photo by Max.

This is my first blog post in Chinese. I wrote it as such in the off-chance that the person I'm talking about reads my blog, and although I've been neither unfair nor unkind I'd still rather spare their feelings. Not that they are for me to spare (if you fish for compliments, be prepared to sometimes hear the uncomfortable truth), but I thought I would anyway. And yes, I am aware of a little thing called Google translate but I'm counting on Mandarin being extremely difficult to translate and also my sub-par Mandarin writing skills to make it that much harder. 

我真的无法忍受人谁的鱼恭维。或者更糟的是, 得侮辱时,他们没有听到他们想听到的答案。如果你不想要的真相,然后不问问题。有一个马来俗语 'Siapa yang makan cili akan terasa pedas' 

我遇到的正是这种类型的人最近在一次聚会。一个美丽的,但缺乏安全感的女孩。被告知她的整个一生中,她是美丽的。个人而言,我认为它是坏的夸奖孩子,因为他们是美丽的。他们长大后会以为他们是唯一有价值的,只要他们有他们的好看。当他们年老和他们的长相褪色,会发生什么事?绝望注意不要失去它们被用来, 他们的行为令人难以置信的厌恶,从而保持自己的聚光灯。(我埋怨父母,但是这是一个不同的故事。)

反正这个女人做的一切,她可以保持所有的精力放在她。我习惯的妇女觉得像他们有与其他女人竞争,所以很容易,我不理她。尽管她是那么响亮,我的耳朵出血。B*tch please.

然后在一个典型的方式,她试图捕捉到是恭维。她问我,我以为她是怎么老。我告诉她真相,她的真实年龄。她很生气。这不是她想听到的答案。

我会发现整个形势有趣的,即使它是残酷的。但我不能。为什么呢?也许她是皮厚,它很快就会忘记。但它更有可能的是她很不高兴。因为这样的女孩与他们的自我价值等同于他们那俊俏的外表。那是什么搅得我。不是因为有人讨厌。不是因为症状,但因为事业。

我不会夸我的女儿是美丽的。相反,我会赞美他们的善良,或聪明,或有才华。因为我不希望她长大后像那个女人。要问一个陌生人,他们想什么,她的脸。她的好心情,依赖于陌生人的意见。

没有什么比这更悲哀。





Source: Tumblr

xx

13 comments:

  1. 外表不是一切, 可惜在我们的这个时代, 很多人宁愿栽培外在美而忽略内在美。

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    1. 没办法, 只能希望我们自己本身不会变成像他们一样芙蓉。

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  2. 我从来不知道你知道普通话!

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  3. poor me..i cant read mandarin. *sobs*

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    1. Long story short; it's about people who fish for compliments and how they've usually been told from a young age that they are beautiful. Hence they think their only value lies in their looks, which is a transient thing, so they become insecure. x

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    2. Google translate ! LOL. It's actually better with the English translation than when I do "easier" languages. The irony +_+. But what you say is true. I used to hand out with a girl like that. To the point where looking back I realised she was attention seeking and make snide comments to put others down and was a social climber, so only made friends with people who got her into top London clubs and guys who would invite her for holidays. LOL.

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    3. Oh, I've encountered a LOT of girls like what you've described. I can't imagine how a 'free holiday' (there's no such thing as a free lunch) in some pervy man (they've barely known)'s villa in Ibiza/Cannes/St Tropez is worth the sexual harassment and degradation that follows? How is that any better than prostitution? The sad thing is that they THINK that it's a form of validation and that it's an enviable/aspirational lifestyle...dear God.

      I probably know the girl you're talking about, London is very small! ;)

      x

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  4. Too true. But it's not even that simple.

    You might find this - about how praise affects children - interesting. http://healthland.time.com/2013/02/12/good-boy-theres-a-better-way-to-praise-your-kids/

    To sum up, it's more beneficial to praise kids for 'trying hard' or 'working hard' or 'persevering' etc than to praise them for inherent qualities such as 'cleverness' or 'goodness' cos then they don't get discouraged when they get into a difficult situation, and they want to try hard to overcome it. If you think you're clever rather than a hard worker, for example, finding something difficult just makes you doubt your cleverness rather than spurring you on to work hard and tackle it successfully.

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    1. That is absolutely true! I suppose if you praise a child for an inherent ability you are teaching them, subtly, that the world is an unfair place...you're absolutely right. In the words of Mr Carson "Hard work will always triumph over beauty here in Downton" (or something along those lines)!

      Thank you for giving me food for thought!

      x

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  5. I absolutely love this (based on google translate - I am far too dim to be able to read Mandarin!) - this type of person does little to inspire envy in me, I'm afraid (have to assume this is the intended aim). Instead, I can't help but feel sad for them. They have so little that's real and good in their lives. What use are (ahem, fake) Prada bags and 'free' holiday (at what cost *shudder*) when you have no real friends, memories or experiences?!

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    1. Thank you!

      You're right, people need to realise what's real and what's good in their lives. After all life is nothing but an accumulation of experiences, memories, and happiness. I suppose some think selling their bodies is a worthwhile trade for a free holiday, and if they genuinely feel that way, I don't judge, different stroke for different folks. But nothing feels better than a holiday you've paid for with hard work and your own money! I was in Paris and even though I stayed in a rented flat with my friend and not a plush hotel suite I felt good about it because I didn't have to account to anybody. My money my problem!

      You can't take handbags with you to the grave. Not that that'll stop me from trying. x

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