To Market, To Market, To Buy A Fat Pig...

August 21, 2013
...said 'fat pig' could very well be me, if my medical report results are anything to go by. On Monday I endured the indignity of a comprehensive medical examination at Prince Court hospital, the likes of which involve running on a treadmill (I lasted 9 minutes and 31 seconds before the test was stopped 'because of fatigue') and simulating a fireman putting out a fire by blowing in a pipe (I failed spectacularly). Anyway...I got the results and according to my report I'm fat. There's no other way around it, the doctor says I need to lose 11kg and gain 3 kg of muscle. My BMI is 'normal' but dangerously close to the 'overweight' range. My body fat percentage is 'morbidly obese' and my cholesterol has gone from 'below average' to 'above average'. But! On the positive side, my hearing is excellent. 

Yesterday---the actual day of my birthday!---I dealt with my humiliating medical report results by...having dinner at a restaurant that specialises in everything pork. *shakes head* And the vicious circle perpetuates itself...



Advice for slightly-overweight women---should one feel self-conscious about one's borderline corpulence, a flabby figure can be cleverly concealed by a wrap dress. Likewise, hide your 'excess baggage' with actual large baggage. Case in point; Celine luggage which is a tad too big for my everyday use but is great for making me look smaller than I am.



With Nana right before she fong fei kei-ed me to go to a Nuffnang movie screening. But to be fair she did stay over the night before AND followed me round all day while I ran errands. Love you Gen-Z!

I granted an audience to a couple of friends who couldn't make it to my birthday party by meeting them for dinner at S.Wine...yes, another one of Ben Yong's restaurants. What can I say, I'm biased. Everybody in K.L frequent their friends' and acquaintances ventures, that's how we show our loyalty and support.

S.Wine needs no introduction, every K.L-ite worth their salt(ed pork rinds) knows it is the most deliciously un-halal place in town. Bakuteh comes a close second. How apt that this fat pig finds herself in a restaurant that celebrates that great and corpulent curly-tailed overlord of the farm. 






John very kindly treated me to dinner and champagne.

Starters---


Parma ham, melon, and rocket.


Bacon wrapped scallops and potatos with bacon rinds.


My main, sausages and rhoti.

Because I am an absolute diva during my birthmonth, halfway through dinner I made Michiekins leave the table and go to Royce to buy me a box of matcha chocolate. The empty box is now sitting in my bin back in my bedroom. Non, regrette rien...non je ne regriette rien...


With Briekins, Michiekins, and Ashley Timanalan Sohai.


Again, with John. Thank you for dinner and the bubbly 

It's time for my flight back to London. See you all again after Chinese New Year, or maybe sooner.

xx


8 comments:

  1. Hi love your red dress. May i know where is it from

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's from Dorothy Perkins! It's quite old though, I'm not sure if it's in the shops anymore. x

      Delete
  2. Food looks yummy and this: "On the positive side, my hearing is excellent" cracked me up x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you know I can ALWAYS hear the Deliverance bike when it pulls up outside my flat, even when I'm watching 4OD/iPlayer/listening to music?! That would explain a) my super-sensitive hearing and b) why I'm so fat (constant deliveries/takeaways) x

      Delete
  3. Are you kidding??? BMI is a pile of lies anyway. You are nowhere near overweight. But the bag is a good idea either way! LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'Borderline normal/overweight' according to my BMI, 'Morbidly obese' according to my body fat percentage/muscle tone. No matter, I can always carry oversized handbags. x

      Delete
  4. Jasiminne,

    Agree with above, BMI is stupid. Morbidly obese my a---!

    Anyway, are you an August 20 baby too? That's my DOB. 27 just the other day - not as depressing as I thought it would be.

    My hearing is good too, sense of smell is the best for me though. Which is horrible when trying to lose weight and I start salivating at the smell of a distant coffee shop baking something sinful


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We share a birthday! Ah! Happy Belated Birthday!
      Birthdays aren't depressing, nothing can make you feel bad unless you let it! WE HAVE THE POWER.
      Oh my God, if I was dieting I think I'd rather have poor sense of smell :( Everytime I walk past a bakery I got weak at the knees :\
      Happy Birthday, again!
      x

      Delete