The curtain closed on my week of Balkan So Hard adventures with a beautiful sunset in Kotor.

Fatigued by Porto Montenegro's rows of same-y looking yachts, supercars, and overpriced (but delicious!) restaurants that only expats and tourists could afford, H and I wanted a more 'real' experience of Montenegro. We took our most expensive cab ride yet---€15! I love this country!---and left behind the glossy glamour of the port for the old-world charms of the medieval city of Kotor.

June 23, 2013



On Monday morning, H nudged me awake."Wake up, Disney princess! BK texted. He's taking us for brunch. You have half an hour to get ready." Half an hour and a full face of makeup later I was still not quite awake. Grumbling, I dragged myself out the house cursing and wondering why BK couldn't just pick me up from the front door instead of making me walk down to Purobeach. And then I saw BK and H standing on a speedboat and thought, OK, fine, I'll forgive them this one time for making me walk down to the jetty. But still, they could've learnt a thing or two from The Wolfpack and landed the boat in the garden.

So we left Porto Montenegro and drove to the Bay Of Kotor.

June 22, 2013




Despite S insisting we forgo Purobeach for Almara Beach Club not one, but two days in a row I simply had to go, if only to see in person the iconic gazing man.

And he did not disappoint. Composed of alphabets I recognised (Chinese, Japanese, & Latin), transparent with his insides exposed---as I felt that day---and gazing perpetually at the horizon, his peaceful, stoic form encapsulated my loneliness, melancholy, yet perpetual optimism.

June 20, 2013



Every (party) animal, even on a quiet vacation, needs a watering hole. I think I've found the ONE. Quite literally.

June 18, 2013



Last Friday I reluctantly peeled myself off the floating bar in Almara Beach Club and dragged my dusty heels to a party of sorts at Lustica BayI had no idea what the event was for. I only vaguely remember hearing the words 'BMW---launch---canapes---champagne---golf---archery'. Archery! Alright then.

June 17, 2013



On Friday I expressed my desire to go to Purobeach. S, ever accommodating and in-the-know, rolled his eyes and said "Forget about that. We'll go somewhere with a better view." We bundled into a taxi---I called shotgun---and drove from Porto Montenegro to Oblatno beach, through winding mountain roads that yielded the most breathtaking sights, wide expanse of ocean and sweeping views of Kotor.

We arrived at Almara Beach Club, from here on referred to as Paradise.

June 16, 2013



I'm staying with a friend in Tivat, a tiny little coastal town in Montenegro, population 14,000. The kind of provincial paradise where you leave your doors unlocked and everyone knows each other by name. I also happen to walk out the house every morning singing Belle's song "Little town...it's a quiet village, everyday like the one before..." but that's just me, I'm a Disney princess on steroids.

Porto Montenegro is more or less my base for the week that I'm here. Enclosed 'within the walls' as the expats put it, it's a tiny but well-formed (that's what I said, hee hee) waterfront development and luxury yacht marina. A parking space for boaties bored of St Tropez and jaded by Monte Carlo, if you will. I predict hipsters with yachts all over Porto Montenegro wearing skinny jhorts and Instagramming their calamari lunch. By the way, my hashtags for Instagram are #BalkanSoHard and #ILiveToSerb. I'm very proud of that.

Thursday morning I dragged my pale London butt out of bed and stumbled ten meters out the door to the beach to join H for breakfast.

June 15, 2013


Yesterday afternoon I pulled up in Porto Montenegro. But not before a whole morning of drama; including a nearly missed flight to Croatia, my driver being an hour late, and no sleep since Monday morning.

June 13, 2013

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