December 05, 2012
Finally...! The blog post about Michiekin's Hen's Night that happened in October.

L-R; Jolyna, Sukins, Briekins, Michiekins, moi!, Linakins, Jillykins, Sheenakins, Charis, Sab, Ashleykins.

In my defense, I took this long to blog because of a series of conveniently-placed-for-procrastination events. First I thought, "Oh I have to wait for the photos of the hen's night from the photographer." Then it was "Oh, I have too much to do to prepare for Michiekin's first wedding dinner." And then "...oh, second wedding dinner. I'm too tired to blog." Then "What the frick the REAL wedding is here I need to sort so much out panic panic panic." After the wedding(s) "I'm so hungover and exhausted, I'll do it when I get back to London"...and then I get back to London and get waylaid/distracted/fall sick. 

I am a bad blogger and a pathetic procrastinator of a person. 

But I am a damn good party planner. Or hen's night organiser. At the very least, keeping things a surprise and secret from the bride-to-be.

A little backtracking and glimpse at the brains & brawns behind the scene.

Marvel at the detail of Michiekin's demands and expectations---

---thank you Michiekins for being so specific. *blank face* 

I rounded up the troops, the army of hens, or as we are affectionately known 'The Brideslaves'. Taking control and being in charge of the hen's night suited me, because my closest friends describe me as 'gila kuasa' (power mad). Not true, everyone's opinion was sought, via secret Facebook group--- 

'Naik kuda' Malay for ride horses.

The key to keeping a 18 girl party a secret is to be organized.

I used spreadsheets for the first time in 6 years.

...And of course, Photoshop was involved. How could we NOT have the fiance (Marcus)'s face photoshopped onto Prince William's wedding portrait? This is what you get when you constantly sigh to your girlfriends about wanting to marry a prince. Be careful for what you wish for, because your friend with the twisted sense of humour, hunger for public embarrassment, and addiction for Photoshop WILL remember your wishes. And bring them to life to haunt you on your hen's night. You'll see.


More Royal Wedding themed paraphernalia that didn't make it past the drawing board---


We wanted Michiekins to have her perfect bachelorette party. A night surrounded by her best friends, in one of her favourite hotels, decorated with her favourite things, cocktails and partying at her favourite hang out spots in Kuala Lumpur. 

On the afternoon of the 27th of October (which, incidentally, was Halloween party night in K.L) we got an apartment in, where else, the Mandarin Oriental. It's always been our tradition to spend the night there whenever we go clubbing, full metal r-tard way. The M.O is literally our M.O. 

Mandarin Oriental, Kuala Lumpur, 27 October 2012

Spent the afternoon filling the apartment with her favourite things; balloons, photo props (moustaches, cardboard puppies, silly glasses, tinsel, etc) and...other surprises.

I baked cupcakes in Tiffany blue, the colour of her favourite jeweller and also the choice of her engagement ring. Bottles of Moet & Chandon, her favourite tipple. Penis-shaped straws, a given.

Cards shaped like Tiffany boxes for the hens  brideslaves to write messages & well wishes on. Lady Butterworth very wisely retreats and goes into hiding. There's no telling what could happen with a roomful of merry, drunken girls...

Accessories for the bride-to-be. If you had a hen's night without a 'Bride to Be' sash, some form of tiara (sceptre and gloves optional) then you need to fire the party planner.

We took Michiekins to dinner; a low-key, quiet, affair. We kept it vanilla to lower her expectations, all the better for the surprises in store.

Ashley drove Michiekins the 100metres from dinner to the hotel to throw her off. We lied and said that we were taking her to Jonker Street, Malacca, for chicken rice and fried ice-cream! Obviously she didn't buy it, but what she DID buy was time for us to run ahead, hide in the room, and position our photographer, Jaz Khai, to capture the expression on her face as she walked in---


She screamed as she opened to the door, we popped streamers at her, and blasted Marina & The Diamonds 'Primadonna Girl' to her entrance.

We promptly dressed up the star of the night, and shoved a bellini in her hands. Phallic straw and all.

We get on bended knee, and Queen Bridezilla knights each and every one of us, her long suffering brideslaves, before placing around our necks our collars. She also got a little bell to ring & summon us with, which miraculously did NOT go missing by the end of the night.

Long live Queen Bridezilla!

The girls put the photo props to good use. 

And yes, I enforced an all-pink dresscode. I say enforced, they say threatened. Everyone knew I was deadly serious when I said that anyone not dressed in pink had to open 10 bottles of Dom Perignon. Unfortunately I eventually got too tipsy to enforce that rule and punish the non-pink wearers. Oh.


That night I wore; pink Herve Leger, pink Miu Miu clutch, pink (sometimes black) Hello Kitty glasses, non-pink Carvela wedges.

Sukins (below) also wore Herve Leger, her very first which I coerced her to buy especially for the occasion.

Dressing Queen Bridezilla.

I got Michiekins some sexy presents; blindfolds and naughty games. She said "Thank you Jasikins! I'll think of you when I use these" Oh dear please don't. Please, just think of your husband thank you very much bye.

Speaking of husband...where's her fiance, Prince Marcus?

Right before we leave for Phase 2, we shoo Michiekins outside and tell her to wait for her surprise.

She thinks she's getting a stripper. Nope, sorry.

"Here comes your surprise guest...!"

The look on her face when she saw Prince Marcus is something I will remember for the rest of my life.


I made a matching one for the boys, with Michiekin's face on the Duchess of Cambridge's wedding portrait. This way, even on their stag/hen dos they get to be together. 

Prince Marcus in tow, we haul ourselves to Phase 2, cocktails and games at Marini's on 57.

Heaven knows how we fit in that tiny lift, and we were specially impressed that we survived a trip 57 floors up without suffocating anyone. The other guests in the lift were not as amused by our laughing and hooting and general hilarity. I suspect they have never been married, or at least married but never had a hen's/stag do.

For a stunning view, you can't beat Marini's on 57. By day it's scenic enough, overlooking K.L city from the 57th floor, but by night, right across the lit-up Petronas Twin Towers...it's just breathtaking. A nice little Halloween touch; there were bats, REAL bats, flying around the top of the towers. I look up at the bats, amidst the sea of pink around me and sigh; "How nice to look away from all this girliness and at a scene that is closer to my bleak, black, heart."

And then I looked at the girls in pink again. There was so much estrogen going on that my ovaries expanded and I got pregnant on the spot.




...and now, to make all our suffering at Bridezilla's hands worthwhile, to exact sweet sweet revenge...

The shaming of the Bride-to-be!




Do the Gangnam Style!

Ask boys for their phone numbers!

Get them to lick your face!

...and flash you!

Satisfied that Michiekins was sufficiently embarrassed (and that we had run out of willing strangers to play with), we let her off the hook.

By this point I was completely gone.

Not long past midnight, we hobbled back to the hotel to tuck Prince Marcus into bed, and to get ready for Phase 3---Halloween afterparty at Zouk! 

I brought Michiekins a blood-splattered toy knife, and covered the hens in fake blood.

I imagine we looked quite a sight, a REAL bride-to-be and her abused brideslaves in tow, wearing signs and covered in blood.

Our lovely photographer of the night, Jaz Khai---!

Thank you for being so patient with us, professional, and a perfectionist with the photos. And for looking out for us like your sisters. He said "I feel like I'm at a pageant, all the girls are so pretty!" Jaz has good taste. I like.

While Michiekins was drowning in bottles after bottles champagne; I left the girls to look after her while I ran all over Zouk to steal these skulls that were hanging from the ceiling. I think I took about 10, I jumped out and plucked them off like feathers off a chicken's back.

I tried to give some to Sukins for a housewarming gift but she insisted "I can make better ones myself." SNOB!

I also stole appropriated a tombstone from Zouk's graveyard garden. Zouk, if you're reading this, please don't ban me. All those props I took were going to end up binned after Halloween anyway. LOVE YOU!

That night was the night Michiekins broke her party record. She stayed out the latest she ever has, it was 5 in the morning by the time we got back to the hotel and plates after plates of food arrived.

I played Pitbull's 'Hotel Room Service' and hopped around feeling very pleased with myself, as if that was a very inspired and original thing to do. But when you're drunk at 5am, it's easy to convince yourself that singing "We at the hotel! Motel! Mandarin Oh!" while rolling around in a bathrobe is a clever thing to do.

This is why my nickname is Contessa De Facepalm.

And then the next morning I woke up surrounded by the props from Halloween night. What is it they say about your misdeeds coming back to HAUNT you? Hahaha *awkward silence*...ha.

We checked out late and I treated Michiekins and Sukins to the spa.

It seems almost anticlimactic compared to the night before; but a very welcome epilogue for her hen's night!

We thought we knew what it was to feel exhausted. We had NO IDEA. 

Wedding dinners 1, 2, and 3 to come!

Related blog posts---



ps. I feel tired just reading this blog post. 


  1. It's definitely a good hens night for you girls =) Looks really awesome

  2. You're so sweet la, what a perfect experience for Mich, she's lucky to have you girls.

    1. Friends come and go, but Brideslaves are for life! Now Michelle owes me for when I get married. Free labour huhuhuhu :D

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